The Sickness - Senioritis

So this blog is about not being able to focus due to all of the stress, distractions, drama, etc in our lives. It is very true that yes, those things do add to our disability to focus and pay attention and do very much distract us from the lecture we need to be taking notes for or that exam we need to be studying for, but for me, I finally realized what the real problem is- or at least the root of it. I have all those other distractions in my life, but I have always had those distractions and they never hurt me or my work ethic in high school, I fought through them and still managed to excel in my classes. I was walking to class thinking about why I'm so distracted and so NOT inspired to really care about school and then it hit me. Senioritis. I still have that disease. I mean it's deathly contagious, and I knew it lasted at least a year for most people, but it has stayed with me all this time. I can't get well! And it is killing me! My senior year wasn't hard at all, but it wasn't a piece of cake either. I had two AP classes- Calculus and Spanish IV but still I did very well without having to do much of anything. All my other classes were complete jokes. I could sleep in class or just daydream all period, then go home and watch television or whatever I wished to do. Then when the weekend rolled around I could party all weekend because I didn't have anything else to worry about. I was slackin' my way to an A that year, but I can't do that here. And it is finally starting to dawn on me that at Trinity University there ARE NO BLOW OFF CLASSES. Even roller blading and ballroom dance are challenging and are taken very seriously. I need to snap out of it or I am going to regret it. I better get well soon.

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Sleep? What's that?

So it's that time of year AGAIN. The time where students are still roaming campus at 3am, Java City is packed and running out of coffee, and the teachers are starting to notice their students slowly turning into zombies. Yep, that's right the dreaded midterms are here. Time to stay up all night cramming for that Calculus test you put off for weeks, or that project worth 30% of your grade that you decided to start the night before. It's a nasty cycle, because we stay up all night studying, which becomes non-productive after around 2 or 3 in the morning because you're so tired your brain cannot take in any more information. Then you finally go to bed at 5am, which means you'll be getting roughly 2 and a half hours of sleep (if you're me) By the time your test rolls around, you're so disoriented and delusional that it's getting harder and harder to remember everything you were cramming during the wee hours of the morning. It's literally almost impossible to focus on anything. Your synapses are slowed down, your reactions drag, and all you can really think about is how exhausted you are, let alone that derivative problem you need to solve on that CALC test. Scientific studies have also shown that when you go for over 18 hours or so without sleep it's almost like being drunk- the side effects are the same. Yeah that was me today. I stayed up til almost 6am studying for my Calculus midterm. Let's just say I flatlined around noon, and it was downhill from there. I'm still tired and I won't be able to go to bed until at least midnight. And these are midterms. I don't even want to think about finals.

Dream A Little Dream Of Me

Yeah alright so I admit it, I am a hopeless romantic, it's true. If I catch a cute boy looking at me I can't help but to blush. Or if I see a couple holding hands or walking to class together, it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. I just love the idea of love. I also love to use my imagination as entertainment when the day gets boring, and of course sometimes my classes can get a little boring, except for my Computer class, but the other ones do sometimes. And everyone has those days where they just don't want to be in class, they want to be outside. The worst classes are the ones that have windows, especially when it's a beautiful day outside. And I often find myself staring outside at the trees and grass and all the beautiful sunshine beaming down. I'll see people walking together and birds flitting from tree to tree, and I can't focus on class whatsoever anymore. I'll catch myself in a daze, and that's when the daydreaming starts. Hopeless romantic. Dreamer. That's me. I swear I can never get my brain to slow down. There's always so much streaming through my mind, it's hard to stay on track in class when I feel like there's better things to daydream about- like that boy with the cute smile I saw on the way to class, or that couple sharing an umbrella and wishing I had something like that too.

Signing Out- Xay.

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Family Feuds

I might be a grand total of roughly 313 miles away, and a good 5 and a half hours away from home, but that doesn't mean my parents can't call me up on my cell phone and badger my brains out. I guess sometimes they forget that college work is substantially different than my work in high school. In high school, I could handle dealing with the stresses of family life, arguing with my parents, and dealing with my younger sister and her teenage tendencies. However, now I go to Trinity University, and it's not exactly the easiest school around. I'll be on my way to class- or even IN class- and I'll notice my phone vibrating. Who's calling? Mom. Who's calling? Dad. Who's calling? My sister Olivia. I try to be polite and answer, but usually the second I utter out "hello" my mom is asking me "How are classes? What did you do with your keys? Why is there a charge on the credit card? Will you please talk to your sister?" On and on and on. Honestly, it just stresses me out. I already have a lot on my plate. I'm a Pre-med, bio major, and that is a lot to handle in itself. Not to mention I'm also rushing, and do quite enjoy having a social life and hanging out with friends. When my parents call and add to my stresses, I feel bad because I'm too far away to help solve the problem, which just leaves me worrying and sidetracked on into the next class. It's distracting, and I can feel the stress build with each second that ticks away on the phone. It's hard to block it out and focus sometimes, but I have talked to my parents and it is getting better.

Signing out- Xay.

The Duties Of A Sister

Going away to college, I was excited for myself. I was completely preoccupied with getting out of the house, getting to live on my own, and meeting all the new people on campus. I left little room to worry about how everyone in my family might have felt about me leaving, especially when it came to my sister, Olivia. My mom brought it to my attention a couple days before I left how much my sister was going to miss me. Thanks for that distraction, Mom. Now, at school, when I need to be completely focused on homework, quizzes, and exams, I find myself constantly worrying about my little sister. She's only thirteen years old, and she struggles with the drama and stress that comes along with Middle School life. She will text me sometimes asking me for advice and counsel, but when I call her she acts as if nothing is bothering her. This only brings me worry and concern, and I feel like I have left my sister without a good role model at one of the most important and crucial times in her life. This distracts me from school anytime she crosses my mind because I feel like I did not do my duty as her older sister, and of course now that I am gone I am beginning to realize how vital of a role a big sister plays in the life of a little sister. I guess I can only hope that she learned from the little time she got from me and learn as she goes. I have to worry about myself too and I must find a way to focus on my school work. Failing would only be setting a bad example for my sister, and that's the last thing she needs right now.

Signing out- Xay.